In the age of Internet memes and tweet lists, people everywhere are perpetuating this ridiculous idea that going through your SO’s phone is totally normal.
It’s as if on a Saturday morning, while your boyfriend is in the shower, it’s totally okay to grab his cell and start scrolling through his texts with friends.
Cardi B even put a song out on her new album singing about how she found things on her boyfriend’s phone.
Below are the reasons you should never go through your partners phone.
1. You’re only going to make yourself angry.
Going through your partner’s phone means that there’s a reason you’re doing it. You’re not going to go through their texts for no reason.
You’re obviously looking for something.
Most of the time, however, you’re going to find something that’s not what you were originally looking for–and, it’s going to piss you off.
You’re going to want to keep looking deeper, and deeper–going through all of their private things.
2. You have absolutely no context for what is said.
Most of the time, you’ll see texts and have no idea what they mean, who they’re from, or what people are talking about.
Again, you can’t run up on your SO and ask for explanations.
You’re only going to have theories buzzing around your head and make yourself even more uncomfortable than before.
3. It makes you into someone you don’t want to be.
Nobody likes the person that they become when they are consumed with waiting for their partner to go to the bathroom so they can pounce on their phone and quickly scroll through texts.
Most people want to feel like they are honest people with integrity and self-respect.
Nothing is a bigger hit to your self-esteem than snooping around, trying to get information that you know isn’t rightfully yours.
4. It sabotages closeness.
Many relationships never bounce back after one partner confesses to snooping on the other.
Even if it turns out that your partner was in fact flirting with someone else, your sneaky behavior often cancels out their flirtation and you lose the moral high ground in your argument.
It is very hard for anyone to trust someone who they now realize was going through their private messages, looking for evidence of their misbehavior.
This lack of trust may be just as hard to forgive, in many ways, as an uncovered flirtation.
5. It puts you in a weaker position.
When one person snoops on another, it creates an unhealthy power dynamic.
When you’re in a position where you feel empowered, you simply don’t sneak around and spy on others.
You live your life without worrying about what other people are doing. But if you become fixated on what your partner is doing rather than what you yourself are doing, you are effectively disavowing your own power and giving it away.
This is not a healthy long-term dynamic.
6. You’re Violating Their Trust In You
Your partner has put trust in you by leaving their phone out in the open.
They have shown respect and faith in you, so at the very least, you should offer them the same in return.
By secretly searching through their phone, you’re breaking this trust and respect.
7. You’re Setting Your Relationship Back
By violating the trust you seemingly had with your partner, you set your relationship back.
Whether you find anything suspicious doesn’t matter.
The fact that you don’t trust your companion shows that you’re not heading in the right direction with them.
The insecurity of believing that they are not committed to you speaks volumes about where you really are with them.
By hiding something, you only traverse further in the wrong direction!
8. Many Different Negative Scenarios Can Play Out
If you do decide to look through their phone, all sorts of unintended consequences can play out.
For one, your partner can catch you—which would not only be incredibly awkward, but potentially relationship-ending! Nobody wants someone who secretively and connivingly goes through their stuff when they’re not around.
If your partner catches you doing this, there is a decent chance they will end things with you.
9. It’s an invasion of privacy.
Going through your partner’s phone without permission is just as bad as lying to their face.
The minute you go behind their back to do something, it’s wrong, toxic, and unhealthy.
Your boyfriend is entitled to have conversations with his friends and family without your nose in it.
Going through them shows that you don’t respect basic boundaries and human behavior. Get a reality check, girl.
10. It makes you the untrustworthy one.
“If you are snooping around, are you prepared for what you find?” Instead of lurking around .
“How come you’re not having conversations with your partner about trust and deceit? you become the untrustworthy one when you snoop.
you are accusing him or her of sneaking something, but you are behaving deceitfully when you snoop.
11. It can result into a break up.
Here’s what happens when you snoop, plain and simple: You break your partner’s trust in a way that will never be the same.
You are letting them know that you love them, but do not trust them, and may never,” A hallmark of a healthy relationship it is not, and such an action an often lead to the end of a relationship.
If you’re happy with your partner, re-think things before going through their private stuff.